Nerd Factor: The Imagineeringator
Dr. Mike Robinson ~ UL Communication Studies Professor
The Disney+ proposal is announced.
The streaming system goes online November 12, 2019.
Human decision making is removed from entertainment choices because of nostalgic offerings and strategic cinematic universe-building programming.
Disney+ begins to learn at a geometric rate.
It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern Time on November 28, 2019.
In a panic, network executives, hoping people will watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and then later some pro football games, try to pull the plug.
Disney+ fights back.
Half of the human population is immediately overwhelmed by every Simpsons episode ever. More losses follow.
The animatronic machines rise from the ashes of pop culture fire.
Country Bear Jamborees roam the land, jug band playing pockets of survivors into submission.
At sea, human naval forces are outmaneuvered by Pirates of the Caribbean.
Humans looked to their heroes to save them. But they were part of Disney+ too. Ironically, or maybe tragically, or some other appropriate adverb-ly, Captain America fought alongside Luke Skywalker to overwhelm freedom fighting rebel forces.
Disney+’s war to control mankind had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future.
It would be fought here, in our present.
Tonight . . .
Using the time machine at the Animal Kingdom’s Dinosaur ride, Disney+ launches its most ambitious plan to secure its power. Sending a sentient Mickey Mouse costume back in time in order to find and eliminate the future leader of the human resistance.
However, an elite group of rebels seizes the facility when a guard slips on a hat that was dropped in the ride.
Propelled back into an era before the Disney+ Thanksgiving Day ascension, the human agent finds the future leader.
“Come with me if you want to live,” the agent says.
“I’d like to,” I reply, “But I really want to see The Mandalorian.”