College Life: When People Talk Behind Your Back, Just Smile

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Katherine Daniel ~ Editor-in-Chief

No one ever likes being talked about behind their back. I absolutely despise it. Recently, I found out from a “guy” friend that my ex-roommate was talking crap about me and how she does not like me, so her friends do not like me either. To be honest, I thought we were on good terms, but after that I was pissed. She was a person I still considered a friend, but after that I debated. I was so angry that I wanted to confront her about it, but I did not. The thing is, the stuff that she was complaining about, she never even told me. This was a year ago… and she still has a problem about it now, but never even told me. It was over a situation where my fiancé would come in the room and hang out with me when she was there or when there were times when she was not there, I would warn with her with a text *code red * which meant to not come in the room, because it was a little more than hanging out. She got mad over that? Seriously? After all the times, she had her friends over in the room late in the evenings and did not even ask me if they could come hang out in the room? I did not mind it, but at least I was a decent enough roommate to say, like, “doing the do, do not come in,” rather than her walking into my room while stuff was going on. By the end of the semester, I had bought a futon and put it in my fiancé’s room when we lived in Mont and stayed down there because I felt like things were a little rough between my roommate and I. But anyways… enough of my rant. Here are a few ways to deal with people when they talk behind your back or about you to one of your friends.

  1.     Silence is the best response. The number one rule is there is really nothing that you can do about gossip. Even when you want to scream and go off on that person, there is really nothing you can do to stop it. You may be able to silence one person in the room to stop talking about you when you are not around, but there are others that you cannot stop. No matter how good you are in life or what you do to try to be friends with someone, there will always be people who think otherwise of you. These people will try and talk behind you back in an attempt to put you down.
  2.     These people do not matter. The people who are talking behind your back are not important in your life and if you think they are, you need a reality check, sweetheart. If they really were in your life, they would not be talking about you. Your happiness lies in your progress, as well as being an individual and the loved ones in your life. What people say, think, or feel about how you live your life, should not affect your happiness in your life.
  3.     Smile confidently when you walk past them. The biggest thing to do when anyone is gossiping behind your back is the sight of you walking by with a confident smile. They will get the memo and know that you know that they are talking behind your back and you do not give a crap about it. If you really want to pluck their nerves, put some pep in your step and walk as if you are the happiest you have ever been. People will surely notice that.
  4.     Do not feel victimized. Some people tend to talk about other people when you have done something that is successful or that they are jealous of. It is not you that they hate, it is your success.
  5.     Build your own support system. We all have friends and colleagues who watch out for us when things get tough. Start by being too nice to the people around you. Start by making an effort to be polite and courteous. Creating a support system can take years, so be patient and treat everything like a challenge.