You Might Be in Trouble This Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Dr. Mike Robinson, UofL Communication Studies Professor~

witch

Hey, you made it! You got through all of the horrors of last year. I bet you’re feeling petty secure in your evil events survival skills. However, you must know by now that there is no permanent escape.

Not from this sort of thing. The Nerd Factor is rooting for you and thus another set of tips are offered to help you determine if you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you’re hearing voices from the storm drain, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If that dogs eyes are glowing, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If people keep asking you how your ancestor stopped the evil the last time it arose, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you are enrolled in any classes from Miskatonic University. . . even online classes. . . then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If the terrible events that happen are completely different from the events last year but the same theme music keeps playing, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If the scientist in your group says not to worry because it’s physically impossible for an insect to growthat large, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If a puppet offers you a choice, then you might be in trouble this Halloween. If the choice seems pretty grotesque and involves learning a lesson, you are certainly in trouble this Halloween.

If the floor tile in the main hall is unusually pentagram-y, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you just got some new technology, particularly anything that records or affects memories, and most people around you have English accents, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If it follows you, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If people keep mentioning DNA, then you might be in trouble this Halloween. If people keep mentioning your DNA in particular, then you are in trouble this Halloween. And they might be too if they don’t stop mentioning it. . .

If you keep hearing kids singing nursery rhymes, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you live in Santa Clara or Santa Mira or really any town named Santa Something-or-Other in California, then you will be in trouble this Halloween.

If you can’t seem to stop trying to solve that weird puzzle box, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If there’s a really good reason that nobody ever told you before that you had a sibling, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you’re pretty sure that just a moment ago, the wall didn’t have a single face in it let alone that many faces, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If that count with the European accent and who is new in town keeps pausing to stare at that girl you know, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If silver never bothered you before you were bitten, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If your cabin is in the woods, then look, how many more times do you have to have this explained to you? You’re in trouble this Halloween.