She Said: Put it Away

Sarah Irby, Editor in Chief~

Social media is a huge part of our lives, and it can often be beneficial in communicating with others, however social media can also put a strain on people in relationships.

It is not uncommon to be in a relationship and become jealous when you see other couples posting about one another and how in love they are all the time. You may even start to wonder why your significant other doesn’t care enough to declare his/her love for you via Facebook or Instagram. I remember feeling this way with my boyfriend in high school, and now I’m sitting here thinking about how stupid it was. Lack of social media presence does not equal a lack of love. Some people just aren’t into doing those sort of things, and that can even be a good thing.

Over the years, I have found that it is a good strategy to keep your relationship status/love life far away from social media because it tends to create drama. There are conniving people out there who live to try to take your man or create a rift between the two of you. People will start all kinds of drama with no purpose, other than to screw with your life. The potential number of people seeing my business when I post it on social media is far higher than the number of people who would probably see a significant other and I in public; not to mention people are often much sketchier online and will go to crazier lengths. Humans will always try to stick their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Then, of course, there’s the part where social media can reinforce and act as a channel for bad habits. Maybe we can even view it as a means of exposing bad characteristics in a person?  Either way, we’ve all been skeptical at some point of a significant other, wondering if they’re sliding into someone else’s DMs. Because that’s a big no-no. It isn’t uncommon to find people using Facebook Messenger or some other platform to send risque stuff to someone who isn’t their significant other. Then there’s the whole stressful ordeal when your significant other likes other girls’ (or guys’) pictures, especially if there’s something “sexy” about it. I can tell you that no one wants that. No one wants to feel inadequate because the person they’re dating decides to like some other chick’s bikini selfie.

You might find your own bad qualities surfacing, as well. If you’re anything like me, you might start to get paranoid about your significant other’s social media use. You notice he sure does stay on his phone a lot, and he seems to be friends with a lot of girls. Then you end up betraying trust and privacy by snooping when they’re not around. Maybe you find something incriminating, then your stomach gets hot and you get angry and don’t know how to approach the situation because you weren’t supposed to be looking in the first place. Then you just wish you had left well alone; after all, ignorance is bliss, right? I’ve learned not to scratch that itch because a lot of times it’s unfounded, and I’m just overthinking things because of experiences I’ve had in the past. It’s always best to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, but it’s equally important to air any discomforts or concerns you have about your relationship and the role social media plays in it.

Remember that not everything people post on social media is truly representative of their life. I know a lot of unhappy people who gush about their partners and it’s all a facade. They want to convince everyone else – and most importantly, themselves – that they’re satisfied and living the good life. Social media can be used to alter people’s perceptions of many things, and more often than not, people are willing to do or say something online that they wouldn’t in person. Like everything else, social media has a time and a place. Sometimes, its place isn’t in a relationship.