She Said: The Sweet Life

Sarah Irby, Editor in Chief~

Let’s talk about something sweet; let’s discuss the sugar lifestyle. Maybe your first instinct is to wonder what I’m talking about, but I know you have all heard of sugar daddies and sugar babies, whether from a pop culture reference, someone casually saying they need to find one or even real-life experience.

For those of you who may be living under a rock, a sugar daddy is someone who is wealthy and looking for companionship; they pamper their sugar babies in exchange for their time. Sugar babies may receive allowances and gifts, they may be sent on vacations and they could even get help paying their college tuition, if that’s what they need. Sugar daddies range from younger to older, but they are often men who are too busy to have real, long-term relationships. This arrangement allows them to get a (seemingly) genuine experience, without any real commitments. The babies get to lead a luxurious lifestyle they otherwise might not have had the opportunity to experience.

sugarbaby

Illustration by Genevieve Griffin

These arrangements can be controversial, because it is seen by many people as glorified sex work. Although sex is often expected to be a part of the deal, it isn’t always an obligation. There are many websites, such as seekingarrangement.com that help connect potential sugar babies with potential sugar daddies; it’s almost the same as regular online dating. Typically, pairs would meet up to see if they liked one another, then they would make clear their expectations, boundaries and so forth. There should always be guidelines from the get-go, and the daddy is often at the baby’s mercy. They create the rules, and if they feel uncomfortable or want out, that’s up to them.

For daddies who are shy and/or babies who don’t have the time to spare, there is online sugaring as well. Some people are lonely and just want someone to talk to. Arrangements can be made to chat online or on the phone, send pictures, etc. rather than spending time together in the real world. A sugar lifestyle can be really time-consuming and energy-draining. Sugar babies have to be able to navigate a wide range of situations. They have to be able to communicate effectively, make their companions feel comfortable and desired and possibly have certain sexual skills. For some people, the lifestyle just isn’t right. It can be overwhelming or even leave you unfulfilled. A friend of mine mentioned that even though she considers her previous sugar daddy a friend and mentor, and she recognizes that the arrangement was mutually beneficial, it still “rubs me the wrong way knowing that if it weren’t for my age and looks, I would be nothing to someone.”

I think there are misconceptions about this “job;” people seem to think they can be lazy with it, but really, there is a lot of effort that has to be expended. Even with this, you don’t just get money thrown at you (although if that’s what you want, you could always be a stripper). These titles also hold a lot of stigma, for those who aren’t very sex-positive and for those who just don’t understand it or think it’s immoral. I think those are walls that need to be broken down. This is one social relationship I find completely fascinating.

One thing’s for sure – I’m admiring anyone at this school who might have a sugar daddy. I wish I had it in me, because it could be real helpful for all the bills and loans I have to pay. If anyone’s looking for some extra money – or a lavish lifestyle – maybe this route is for you. Get out there and live the sweet life.