Nerd Factor: Halloween II

Dr. Mike Robinson, LC Communication Studies Professor~

Well you got through it all last year, but the spooky energy of the season just keeps coming back.  As always, the Nerd Factor cares about you and offers these tips to tell if, once again, you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you and the other survivors of last year’s events have decided to go to college together or have all taken a job at the same location, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If your shape is best described as “shifting,” then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If the local sheriff keeps saying, “Not again” under his or her breath, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If the portraits in the mansion have pre-cut eye holes, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If those weird puncture marks on your neck show up one more time, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you see repeating “Bloody murder” or “Bloody Mary” in front of a mirror as more of a dare than a warning, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If the new people that you meet constantly remark about how well you fulfill the prophecy, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If those creatures keep multiplying like that, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you lack the common sense judgment and self-control to resist having sex, drinking beer or smoking weed despite the fact that a slasher is on the loose, then yeah, you’re definitely going to be in trouble this Halloween.

If the aliens say that your tracker implant works the best, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you don’t know why this keeps happening to you, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If Vincent Price or Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee has to explain why this keeps happening to you, then you might be in trouble this Halloween. If all three do so together, you’re done for.  

If you can’t outrun at least a few of the others, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.  

If you rode up in a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If the creature has pretty much duplicated your form, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If, after all that’s happened, you decided to remain in Haddonfield, Illinois or Hawkins, Indiana or really just the Midwest in general, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you cannot quickly fashion a stake out of an ordinary wooden object, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If you realize that something is moving inside the fog or that the fog is moving along with something inside it, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If people keep asking if you know how blood looks in the moonlight, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If somebody doesn’t stop them from getting the third item they need to complete the summoning, then you might be in trouble this Halloween.

If your Airbnb search term was “cabin in the woods,” then what were you thinking?  Of course you’re going to be in trouble this Halloween.