She Said: Should’ve Said No

Sarah Irby, Assistant Editor

If there’s one thing I’ll never fully understand, it’s cheating.

The way I see it, if you really love and care about someone, then you would never feel the need to betray them or risk your relationship with them just to share a few hot moments with another man or woman who, more times than not, doesn’t even really care about you.

I mean, come on, you have this great relationship with a guy or chick who loves you, cares for you, would give you the world on a silver platter and you’re telling me that you’d risk it all for some desperate person who just wants you for the night? Why? I just don’t get it.

I guess I can almost see where you’re coming from, with certain aspects. Cheating can be
a rush, and some people love the feeling of getting away with something they’re not supposed to be doing (FYI: Your streak isn’t going to last forever. You’re going to get caught eventually.).

I’ll be the first to say that I get a kick out of disobedience, but this is someone’s life you’re
messing with. Your actions will affect their happiness, their trust, their self-esteem—pretty much everything. Cheating always has a lasting effect on its victim—one that is hard to overcome and that can make future relationships difficult—so I’m not even sure how you could do that to someone and still be okay with yourself. Not cool.

Relationships can be hard, but if you put time and effort into them, then they are rewarding and most definitely worth it. It’s my personal opinion that if you’re willing to cheat on your significant other, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Just end it. If you don’t have enough dedication to stay faithful, then you don’t have enough to help your relationship flourish.

On a side note, if you cheat and your partner asks if you’ve been unfaithful, just tell them
the truth. In the end, it’ll make things easier. I also understand that sometimes people feel emotionally or physically deprived, and this often leads to that person confiding in someone other than their partner. These new emotional connections can lead to physical connections as well (if you know what I mean).

The key, as always, is communication. You have to be able to tell your significant other
how you feel, rather than seeking out something that’s just going to further damage your
relationship.

I may feel sympathy for you if you’re in that boat, but cheating is still never okay. Ever.
And I don’t just mean sex.

Cheating comes in many forms, including texting people inappropriately (and you might
not think it’s inappropriate, but I guarantee that your significant other will). Also if you have to ask yourself if what you’re doing is cheating, or if you feel guilty, then it’s cheating.

Think of all you stand to lose.

There’s one thing that’s definite when it comes to cheating, and that’s that it’s going to
impact your relationship.

Sometimes infidelity can lead to couples working together to build a stronger relationship.

Other times, the outcome is exactly what you would expect. So maybe just don’t try and find out.

If you’re not feeling it with your girlfriend or boyfriend, then don’t waste your time; end
the relationship. Don’t be such a coward though that you can’t communicate this to your partner and instead go sleep with someone else in hopes that they’ll find out and break up with you. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Also, don’t always just assume your partner is cheating. Make sure that you have some
kind of evidence to rely on and that you’re not just being insecure and/or paranoid. And don’t be one of those people who blames it on gender either. You know what I’m talking about— “like, cheating is such a guy thing to do.” In reality, men and women cheat at the same rate, according to a study done by Indiana University.

Moral of the story: Don’t be tempted to eat that forbidden fruit (I think we all know what
happened at the end of that story). If you want to “mess around” with people, fine; there’s nothing wrong with being single and ready to mingle. But if you have someone, they should be your only one.